you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
