Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
