Your face is a jimmy john
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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