well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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