whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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