I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
