It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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