So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize