i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
did i just pee glitter
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
