I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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