This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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