porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
