THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
