APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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