I wannas sexs uuuuu
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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