I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
