I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
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Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
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I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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