Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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