So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
