I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
