If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
