He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
