Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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