Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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