I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
