How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
