If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize