my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize