So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
There's even glitter on my cock...
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