i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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