You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize