He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
