my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
