I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize