no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
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Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
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I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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