i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
