:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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