Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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