But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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