I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This is the high leading the old right now
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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