I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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