just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize