yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
