There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You pole danced in your parka.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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