Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.