So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.