When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.