i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright