Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
