I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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