I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
