Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
