I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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