me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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