chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
