i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This baby is an asshole
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
