Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
