Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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