i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she smelled like a LAN party
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dignity is for republicans.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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