She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize