It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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